Introducing Terms of Engagement
Our new monthly column explores sex-positive thinking and behaviors
Hi, I’m JoJo Blake1, an alternative lifestyle writer, relationship coach and longtime psychology professional with a passion for real talk about love, intimacy, and everything in between—and I’ll be writing a new column for Desert Trumpet called Terms of Enagement.
Sexuality isn’t something we understand magically. It’s often a taboo topic and has us avoiding issues we find too embarrassing to discuss. We may be too shy or even just unsure how to ask the important questions. Most of us have been told half-truths passed down through generations of parents who viewed intimate relations as “dirty” or not something to be discussed outside a marriage. I am here to take on these topics and write openly about things we encounter every day: communication, relations, pleasure, healthy boundaries, consent and everything in between, but always expressed with compassion and clarity.
How do we talk about a sex-positive column without first discussing the biggest problem that many of us face? Shame. Our goal or my goal with this column is to help us unlearn our shame. Most of the time our discomfort stems from misinformation or commonly held myths. To unlearn shame, we must hold space for autonomy, compassion, and respect for all individuals even if we don’t understand them or their choices.
Over the course of this column many topics will be discussed. Remember that we need to be aware of our own biases and be open to learning to communicate honestly, be inclusive, accept others’ preferences, challenge stigma, learn about other lifeways, and be aware of sexual health.
We will define and challenge social norms with positive and trauma-informed language, discuss body image, healthy and unhealthy behavior and patterns, sex positivity, aging and modeling expressing ourselves openly and wholesomely.
As we step into this exploration together, my hope is that you feel not only informed but also supported and empowered. This column is an invitation to grow, to question, to unlearn, and to rediscover with curiosity rather than fear. I’m grateful to walk beside you as we navigate these conversations with honesty, compassion, and courage. Welcome to the conversation!
With over a decade of experience as a sexual assault advocate and six years working in the mental health field, JoJo Blake has spent her career helping people build safer, healthier, more authentic relationships.
As a polyamorous woman in an open relationship for the past four years, she brings both professional insight and lived experience to the table. Whether leading group sessions, presenting LGBTQ+ history and communication workshops, or writing about kink and consent, her mission is the same: to help people connect — with themselves, their partners, and their pleasure.
JoJo writes:
I’ve called our lovely desert home for 15 years, and I’m thrilled to bring honest, inclusive, and sometimes spicy conversations to this space. This is an all-inclusive and open dialogue where we talk about boundaries, bedroom dynamics, and everything your group chat really wants to know.
When she is not working or writing JoJo is cuddling her fur babies, gaming or watching Harry Potter.
Have a question for JoJo? Leave us a voice mail with your first name at the Desert Trumpet phone line 760-362-6099, and we’ll pass it along for a future column. Voice mails will be converted to text, and the identity of callers will be kept confidential. Readers can also email questions to editor@deserttrumpet.org.
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JoJo Blake is a pseudonym. We are protecting the identity of our columnist due to the sensitive nature of the column’s content and of their employment. (Footnote added after publication.)